How to Report Cheating Military Spouse? – 4 Important Steps

Written by

John Cotton


Logan Miller

how to report cheating military spouse

When dealing with a case where trust has been broken and loyalty has been betrayed, determining what to do and whom to turn to are crucial decisions.

How to report cheating military spouse? This guide provides the resources you need to handle this sensitive issue and reach a fair resolution confidently.

Let’s discuss the details of reporting your military spouse for cheating.

Read the guide below about the steps to follow, the importance of evidence, the potential legal implications, and more.

Steps to Report Cheating Military Spouse


There is no better way to deal with a cheating spouse than to confront it. Did you know that in the 2009-2019 military adultery statistic, around 70% of the military committed adultery at least once? Sadly, it is the reality.

If you have exhausted all your options and can’t fix your relationship, consider the steps below to report cheating spouses.

What Should You Do?

1. Gathering Evidence


This first step is the most crucial step that you should consider. You need to have solid proof that your significant other cheated on you.

  • You can find a witness or hire a private investigator.
  • Search for possible relationship “clues” of your spouse and the other party involved.

Pieces of evidence you can collect are:

  • Phone Records
  • Emails
  • Pictures
  • Messages
  • Title Documents
  • Bank Statements
  • Social Media Accounts

2. Reporting the Infidelity


You have two options to report adultery in the army where your spouse is working:

First option: You should report infidelity by calling the military commander of your spouse.

Seek advice from the Family Readiness Officer to find out how to talk directly to their commander.

Second option: Write your divorce intentions on paper by petitioning the court. This is the legal way to gain the attention of your cheating spouse.

If your evidence is accurate and strong, your spouse may face a court martial for his or her actions.

3. Dealing with the Emotional Impact


Being brave enough to confront your cheating spouse takes a lot of emotions and energy out of you.

After dealing with the pieces of evidence and confrontations, here are ways to help you get back on your feet and move forward:

  1. Acceptance – consider how your sense of betrayal affects your relationships with others as you work through the feelings brought on by adultery.
  2. Avoid stress – lower the amount of stress and pressure in other areas of your life.
  3. Health first – prioritize getting adequate rest, eating healthily, and keeping yourself active.
  4. Forgiveness – forgiving someone is about changing your perspective to make sure you can move on from the hurt you’ve felt.
  5. Be patient – whether you’re recovering either separately or together, the two of you don’t have to do so at the same pace.
  6. Talk to a trusted person – a therapist, counselor, or even a friend will listen to your problems and may be helpful for you.
  7. Reach out to DoD – they provide skilled counseling services over the phone and via the internet.

4. Legal Implications and Support


Hire a military lawyer (JAGs) that has military divorce expertise or ask for free legal assistance in the military legal assistance offices.

  • Lawyers can help military members and their spouses by offering separate consultation sessions.

This will help the couple to express their real feelings freely without the other partner’s judgments.

  • The married couple could meet with a mediator to agree on separating from their marriage.

Mediation is private and can help both partners come to an agreement regarding children’s custody and financial assets. The divorce often happens with less stress and time wasted.

  • Lawyers can assist with wills, estate planning, taxes, and the Servicemembers’ Civil Relief Act.
  • Military divorce often entails loss of benefits like installation housing and healthcare (Tricare). The military may cover moving fees to help you relocate and offer the possibility of buying temporary healthcare coverage through the DoD. The latter can be beneficial until you settle on a new civil medical care plan.

Signs of Cheating in a Military Spouse


You should first be aware of information about what is considered cheating in a military spouse? Three elements are considered when determining the degree to which adultery has happened in the military.

There must be evidence that:

  1. The military defendant was caught doing sexual activity with someone.
  2. When the sexual activity happened, the defendant was married or the co-actor was married.
  3. The actions of the military defendant affect the reputation of the military. This may be in the form of effects on the military unit and the time and resources required to address the infidelity. These consequences are the hardest to prove for persecution.

These three elements are according to the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) because adultery violates UCMJ Article 134.

To prove a case of adultery in a court of law, your claims must satisfy the above mentioned elements.

1. Resources for Support

The Department of Defense launched the Military OneSource program. It is a free service for those in the military and their loved ones who want support and confidential guidance.

Military OneSource provides access to the following resources for support through calls and live chat:

  1. Health And Wellness Coaching
  2. Non-Medical Counseling
  3. Personal Financial Management Counseling
  4. Military and Family Life Counseling

2. Ensuring Privacy and Protection

Of course, while you obtain evidence and initiate the military adultery investigation process of your spouse cheating, do it lawfully.

Any military member is protected under The Privacy Act of 1974. This act prevents personal and confidential files from being shared with others without written permission by the owner.

So, the process of gathering data, reporting to the spouse’s commander, and potentially starting a divorce petition, should be discreet and private for the benefit of both parties and the military.


Can the military get in trouble for cheating on a spouse?

Yes. If your military husband or military wife cheats, they may face punishments implemented by the military or be given a “court-martial” according to UCMJ Article 134.

These punishments include being dishonorably discharged out of the military, getting demoted, having a pay cut, having retirement benefits stripped away, relatively serious consequences, and a year or more in jail.

What happens if someone in the military cheated on their spouse?

Military cheating is a big disgrace to the military. If an Army partner is caught cheating, their spouse could file for divorce and expose them to their commander. Because of this, their military career can be ruined.

How to report a fake military marriage?

If you know someone with a scam or fake military marriage, report it to the USCIS, FBI, US Army CID, or the Federal Trade Commission.

Check this video for more information:


We hope that you find our guide: “how to report cheating military spouse,” helpful in your situation.

It is difficult and requires a comprehensive process and a lot of evidence to prove adultery in the U.S. military.

So, make sure to fact-check your claims first. Gather your evidence, report it to the military, and then deal with your spouse.

Report your spouse to the military while following the law in order to protect justice and the service’s image.

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